It’s that time of year again and we often feel pressured into making some new goals, new habits, new years resolutions. We can feel motivated and inspired, but how long does it last and why?
I gave up making NYR years ago, because I never stuck to them. I had good intentions but as I got to know myself better and what drives me, I learnt a thing or two.
1. Is it of a high value to YOU?
I learnt about values, my values. What is important to me in life and how I live and work. This helped me to prioritize how I spend my time and with whom, what goals I set for myself and how I want to show up each day.
These days, it’s of a high value for me to show up each day with more kindness, acceptance and compassion for others and myself. So my goal is to be more aware of my thoughts, actions, and words. So rather than saying, “I want to be a better person,” looking deeper into your values and being specific will support long lasting change.
What is important to YOU in life? How do YOU want to spend your time and with whom? Take time out to get to know yourself without concerns and pressures from people around you.
2. Is it an achievable NYR?
We often set ourselves huge goals that seem exciting and attainable when we are motivated and inspired, but this is not enough to keep us going. For example, setting the goal to meditate every day for 1 hour when you have never meditated before or don’t have a regular practice sets you up for potential failure.
Instead you could say, “I am going to meditate every day for 15 minutes in the morning before breakfast”. This is more achievable and you are more likely to keep it up. Once this practice is consistent you may then extend the time by 5 minutes. Achievable!
And again, be specific.
3. Why? Why are you making this New Year’s Resolution?
Why do you want to…..lose 5 kg?
I believe understanding why you want something improves motivation and determination to see it through.
Perhaps you want to lose 5 kgs because you will feel better, healthier, have more energy and be more confidant to wear the clothes you want. Get clear on the why! Sometimes when we look at the why, we realize we really don’t want it, we wanted it because of someone else, society, jealousy ……
4. Not willing to do what it takes to attain the NYR.
This is my favorite and newest discovery about myself! I may want my thighs to be more toned but am I willing to put myself through the grueling consistent pain and hard work (my idea of what it will take ☺ ) to achieve the goal? On the other hand deciding to be more peaceful and centered is more realistic as I am willing to commit to my regular breath/meditation practice. This also comes under values. It is of higher value for me to be more peaceful and centered than to focus on the look of my physical body. Consider what is of value and realistic for yourself.
So, rather than putting pressure on yourself and setting goals that you know you won’t stick to, how about taking time out from NYR ‘s and get to know yourself.
What’s important to you, really!? Life is short and precious, live it wisely!