4 “Agreements” for Joyful Relationships

The Samahita Blog

4 “Agreements” for Joyful Relationships

By Gill Breetzke

Life is constantly changing. This was something as a child I found really difficult to accept or understand. Fortunately years of teaching in primary schools taught me the value of this constant change, spending a year or two guiding, inspiring and instructing young children and then setting them free and watching them fly. I am constantly blown away by stories of where life has led them and feel so privileged to have been a part of their journey.

Living and working here at Samahita those tides of change move more swiftly. Every day wonderful souls pass through our doors, land, transform, leave. I’m often asked how I personally manage this phenomenon of impermanence. Samahita is such a supportive place to be but how does one stay centered through the tides of rapid transformation and change?

In his book, The 4 Agreements: A Practical guide to Personal Freedom, Don Miguel Ruiz offers a powerful and empowering code of conduct based on ancient Toltec (Mexican culture at around 1,000 CE) wisdom that reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that can really shadow the joyful abundant interaction that is available in all our relationships with others. In the area of relationships with guests, our extraordinary Thai team and the eclectic, international teaching team I have found these 4 Agreements to be of invaluable support.

1. Be impeccable with your word
Choose your words carefully and say only what you mean. Speak kindly both towards yourself and others. So many words are spoken unnecessarily. Stop, think and choose those filled with truth, kindness and love.

2. Don’t take anything personally
“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”  – Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee.
Empathy is one of our greatest tools here, what others do is not about you, consider their situation and point of view and avoid your own suffering. Their actions are not about you!

3. Don’t jump to assumptions
Many things, if given a moment, take on a whole different meaning. Practice communicating your own thoughts and feelings clearly, avoid overreaction and drama. It’s commonsense really: When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
When you feel reactions arising instead tune into breath.
Also …
Sleep on it,
Many of us have found that many things are so much clearer and often resolve themselves after a good night’s sleep
Don’t jump to assumptions. If something doesn’t make sense to you, ask question to gain an understanding.

4. Always do your best
Realize that your “best” will change. And when it does, without judgement, being where you are, always do your best. Your best guarantees that, whatever the outcome, you won’t regret your actions, words, and thoughts. And if the outcome doesn’t satisfy you, you will always get a second chance.

It’s simple and clear, give it a go and watch your world transform…

There is a beautiful saying in the Vedas:
“Yatha dristi tatha sristi”
As your vision, so is your universe…

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